Hello and welcome to Part 3 of the Stinkbug story!
Thank you, everyone, for the inspiration to write Stinkbug, Part 3!
Since I last wrote, the cute spider and I have been hanging around the apartment a lot together.
But seeing how the guys were heckling me about meeting my new “lady friend”, I decided that the cute spider and I needed some time alone, away from those crowded tiles.
I had to get out of the bathroom sooner or later…
So yesterday, the cute spider and I went to the park. We ran into a swarm of activity there.
There were a bunch of bugs that we don’t see within the confines of the apartment: fluttering butterflies, creeping caterpillars, buzzing bees…
The cute spider and I sat cuddly on a park bench. It felt a lot better than the cold bathroom floor.
And it actually seemed like the perfect location for our first kiss (which I have not stopped thinking about since we first met).
I got a sign that the cute spider was thinking about it too when she slowly tucked her hair back behind her ear. Cute spiders do that kind of stuff right before they want you to kiss them (or so I read).
Just as I was about to transform into a “suave cicada” and steal a kiss, a venomous insect came along and ruined everything.
…The ladybug. It was that darned ladybug.
When I saw the ladybug, I got flustered and quickly scooted away from the cute spider.
“Suave cicada” turned into “wimpy worm”.
I tried not to show my insecurities to the cute spider because in actuality, the ladybug and I had met before…
Back at the apartment, about two months ago, the ladybug had been sitting on the outside of the bathroom windowsill, curiously peering in.
I’m sure she was looking for some hunky hornet or some burly beetle but instead… she found me.
As soon as the ladybug saw me, she stepped back in shock and surprise.
The ladybug exclaimed; “Pee-yoo… What is that smell? Oh, it’s you, Stinkbug. Thank goodness there’s this screen separating the two of us. I wouldn’t want any of your stink to rub off on me.”
Her biting words stung my very core.
The ladybug then huffed and flew away from the windowsill…taking my self-pride along with her.
Flash-forward to yesterday’s encounter in the park:
When the ladybug saw me together with the cute spider, she raised her antennae.
The ladybug knew my weaknesses… and she played into them just like a mosquito toys with your ankle before taking a big, juicy bite.
Pompously strutting towards our bench, the ladybug introduced herself to the cute spider, completely ignoring me.
The ladybug bragged to the cute spider that she had recently been away on some fancy garden store circuit tour as a spokesbug for a new lawn fertilizer.
While the ladybug droned on with her garden store story, she would every so often intentionally flutter her wings, right in my direction.
Sheesh…What a pest…
Throughout our encounter with the ladybug, the cute spider didn’t say a word.
She listened politely to the ladybug’s story, keeping one of her legs gently wrapped around my thorax the whole time.
It felt good.
It felt good up until the ladybug proposed that the cute spider join her on her next garden store tour.
The ladybug explained that the garden store was looking for a new spokesbug to advertise an insect repellent.
While she spoke of insect repellent, the ladybug looked straight at me. Her words were as direct as a wasp hitting a windshield at 65 miles an hour.
I noticed that the cute spider’s eight eyes lit up at the thought of being the garden store’s new spokesbug…
…and just then, she let go of me.
The ladybug caught on to the cute spider’s reaction to her proposal and fed into it like a moth to a cashmere sweater.
“C’mon Spider…Let’s go talk some more, down by the drain pipe. I also heard a couple of handsome hornets just flew into town,” said the ladybug.
Before the cute spider had time to think, the ladybug tugged at one of her eight legs, pulling her away from the park bench…and away from me.
The two crawled off but before they were out of sight, the cute spider turned to look at me.
She mouthed the words:
“I’m sorry… I’ll be back”…