Diary of a Stink Bug

Recently, I’ve been waking up to a stink bug.

I’m squeamish about insects but after sharing my apartment with this little critter for over a week, he’s kind of grown on me.

And I wonder what he’s been doing around the house all day while I’m out at work?

Diary of a Stink Bug

Monday, 7am:

I woke up in the same spot where I was last night. Feeling sluggish this morning.

I’ve decided not to make the 10-tile trek across the bathroom floor today.  So I’ll stay put.  Right. Here.

Tuesday, 9am:

Today I am determined to cross at least half of the bathroom tiles.

I’ve been procrastinating because of the bathmat in my way but I realized that obstacles represent positive challenges…and a little cotton chenille never killed anyone.

Tuesday, 10pm:

Unfortunately I only managed to cross 1 tile today. 9 tiles left.

The floor was a bit slippery from a peach-scented bubble bath overflow. On the upside, my feet smell fruitier than ever before.

Wednesday, 7pm:

Had a chat with a cute spider today. She asked me out for a bite.

But I got shy and turned down her offer.  Hope I didn’t ruin my chances.

On a positive note, I completed 2 more tiles today.

So 3 down, 7 more to go.

Thursday, 10am:

This morning, I almost got side-lined by the cat.

But I camouflaged myself in the wicker trash can and he lost me in the scuffle.

Needless to say, the 7 tiles can wait until tomorrow.

Friday, 6pm:

Even after yesterday’s near-death experience with Fluffy, I’ve chosen not to abandon my journey.

Successfully conquered 3 more tiles today so only 4 more until the finish line!

Many a stinkbug has made this same crossing, so there’s nothing to stand in my way…Except perhaps the plumber’s foot.

Saturday, 12 noon:

I crossed 1 more tile today but it wasn’t the day I expected it to be.

Over by the toilet paper stand, I ran into a couple of the guys.

Max boasted about making the 10-tile trek in two days flat.  But Herb whispered to me that Max is “All talk, No walk”.

I still felt depressed…

Sunday, 12 midnight:

What a week it’s been!

I spoke to Mom this morning and she reminded me that I’ve never let a water pipe, garden hose or ceiling fan get in my way – so why should bathroom tiles discourage me?!

And so I sailed across the remaining 3 bathroom tiles, whizzing past a few dust bunnies along the way.

My victory tasted sweeter than that aphid I caught last Tuesday!  And as I neared the end of the 10-tile bathroom trek, guess what, Diary!

I saw that cute spider again.

…And this time, there was no turning back.

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68 comments

  1. Oh Lord, Mishmash our scatty cat chases them around the house and pafs them with her paw. They then release their toxic gas, Mishmash meows and vacates the room.

    How did stink bugs survive evolution? They fly around the room and run straight into walls or doors, fall onto the floor, normally landing on their backs and spend 10 mins waving their legs in the air until the cat arrives and bats them across the room.

    What with stink bugs, mosquitoes and Telecom Italia, I really don’t know how I survive Italy. (maybe the wine helps 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh your cat likes these little critters too? They’re indeed mysterious how they’ve survived evolution and they look rather prehistoric, in fact… Yes this guy in my apt tends to stick around in one place or else walk back and forth across the ceiling. I get a kick out of watching him, wondering how he calculates his next move…
      Viva l’Italia per tutte le sue bellezze… But stink bugs , mosquitoes, and the phone company are indeed less pleasurable than a bottle of Brunello and a tray of cannelloni!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lia, that is such an adorable story, even for a stinkbug! I remember squishing them as a kid, and they were even stinkier! So now I flick them outside or away somewhere else. Or let my dogs mess with them. Maybe you can keep this story going, I’m dying to know if he and the spider go out, LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Janet! Thank you so much for your lovely feedback! I’ve been meaning to write you… Happy New Year and I hope the year has been a great one so far!
      Much admiration and well wishes, coming your way…
      Lia

      Like

  3. What a funny and clever post! Since our basement in Queens was unfinished (and damp), we often had these gigantic millepieds on the wall that I think were even too much for my father to handle. I would generally avoid the basement at all costs when they were out and about! 🙅

    Liked by 1 person

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